why do you feel a - need to hurt yourself

Dear, (if your name fits here, put it)

You say you will cut yourself.

That is not something I want to

hear. So why don't I just take

the easy way out, and never see

what you have to say?

No, I don't even know about it

until it is too late not to care.

So why do I care so much about it?

Why don't I just stop caring? Oh,ok and is there any other parts of me that I should throw away? Am I less in your eyes the more I am me? Would you like me more if I cared less? Of course, it is not about me is it? It is all about you, I guess.

I do not understand it because I do not experience it. Has your life been so tough? Have you been betrayed more than I have? Have you faced more violence? Have you been less loved?

Have you lost more in your life than I have? I seriously doubt any of that is true.

I have lost everything. I mean everything but the body I live in. And you know what? I don't feel bad about it. Because I choose not to. So do you think I am saying that I am better than you? Well you just don't know. I think you are better than this. But you know what? Maybe I am wrong about that. And if you think I sound angry, maybe it is because I am. Do you think that you only hurt yourself?

Well you say you care. Then I guess you know you hurt others.

Or doesn't that matter to you? You go ahead. I am going to be happy no matter what you do. I might be angry right this minute. I won't stay that way long. That is because I choose to be happy.

No one can make me happy except me. And no one can make me sad, but me. You can influence, yet the decision is mine. So tell yourself that only proves that I don't care. Tell someone else though, because you probably can't fool yourself about it.

Oh, you know I care. That does not mean that if you choose to go down, that I am going with you.

Sometimes it is hard to take responsibility for your own actions and words. Well cry me a river.

You know what? That is all I am saying about this. I am choosing to go and laugh. So you go ahead and make your choices. I will accept them. Amd I will make peace with myself.

I just have a grip on life. I choose to live mine on purpose, not as some out of control fire.

Ok, I am done. I am going to write the title to this entry now. So you keep that in mind when you read it. You probably read it once. Read it again now with some context.

-Just reach up there hit the older link and there will be the title in all caps. -dave

previous - next